"Cookie jarring": this is why we must flee this toxic love trend
The "cookie jarring" is an unbalanced relationship, in which a partner keeps the other as a simple rescue plan, or a "plan B".A tendency in relationships, toxic for both partners, and therefore to flee urgently!Explanation.
Reserve a rescue cookie
This is how we could translate/define in French this trend of "cookie jarring".We can always go to feast without guilt of a good little cookie kept warm at home, no problem with this lifestyle, unless instead of food we are talking about exclusive human relationships.In the same way that it would draw in a cake box stored at the bottom of a closet to comfort themselves, the person who practices "Cookie Jarring" thus turns to one or one of his partners, only if needed.
The "cookie jarring" refers to "cookie jar", i.e. "cookie" in French.The expression has already been relayed by the press in 2019, and came out in 2021 because of the British reality TV series "Love Island".This dating show is indeed filled with emotional dramas and characters who lie to their partners without discomfort.
During an interview for NBC News, psychologist Catalina Lawsin explained that in this type of relationship, one of the partners thinks he has a completely normal relationship, while the other sees her as a simple "rescue plan", a safety measure:
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Why do we do "cookie jarring"?
The person who practices cookie jarring keeps a.he partner under the elbow by safety measure, only so as not to be alone.Behind this practice there is a fear of loneliness, of abandonment.This person seeks to ensure his rear, in case this first attempt at seduction is a failure.There can therefore also be a lack of self -confidence under Jacent.By keeping an annex relationship, this person seeks to reassure himself.The problem is that this "cookie eater" creates a harmful stratagem for everyone.
In short, with their insecurity, these people are not sincere, neither with his/his companion/companion, nor with themselves, most often.This lack of sincerity can also be translated as cowardice.These people do this in the back of their partners, without taking any responsibility.
How to recognize if you are a rescue plan?
There is a problem for the two people involved in this type of relationship.But the hardest part is necessarily for the one who has become attached.e to the loose partner, and who finds himself led.E by boat.This person is enthusiastic about one one -way love, without necessarily realizing it.Because there is also a little emotional manipulation in the practice of "cookie jarring", and its very principle is difficult to detect.However, some signals may alert.
American psychotherapist Tina B.Tessina detailed these signs in 2019 on NBC News.Among them, there is the fact that the partner never wishes to do projects with you.So it’s always you who offer him, as if you were the engine of the relationship.The person who practices cookie jarring always wants you on a whim and does not make the effort to stay in touch with you.And this person spends his time fleeing conversations on the nature or the future of your relationship.
If you feel that one of these signs corresponds to the relationship you are currently experiencing, it is necessary to take the lead.We will have to communicate with your partner, and as soon as possible.Define together what you expect in your relationship, and approach the crucial question of exclusivity.Well, nothing proves that this person is 100 % honest with you during this discussion, but it can be the right opportunity to explain your needs, and maybe save time!
Have you ever succeeded in fleeing a toxic relationship of this kind?Let's talk about it on the forum of The Body Optimist!
