"Wokefishing", this flirting technique aimed at posing as progressive and feminist

“The more it went, the more he made me accept stuff. And above all he proclaimed himself a feminist, when he had nothing to do with it. He used feminism for what suited him (here the liberation of morals, asking for nudes, sexual practices, etc.) under the guise of 'but now women are free to do it, it's feminist to do that' .”

“Even with these remarks, he was still very affectionate, he wrote to me every day, sent me flowers, complimented me, etc.”, explains Louise.

However, the couple often argued, which scared the 19-year-old. "I was so scared that he would leave me and never find someone who cares so strongly about me, so I was always apologizing to make things right."

But Louise ends up deciding to separate from Jonathan.

The perfect ally

“I met an older guy last year (31 when I was 19) who called himself a feminist and, even more, who looked like one. He was really convincing. He immediately told me about Virginie Despentes, posted feminist and anti-rape collages on her Instagram profile,” says Clara*, 21.

How to Enjoy Healthy Meals when You Hate to Cook How to Enjoy Healthy Meals when You Hate to Cook: https://t.co/ES7oIlKLxt via

— healthjeet Mon Tue 05 18:58:05 +0000 2018

But that was just the tip of the iceberg, she explains. “When we talked about these topics, he really listened. He was the perfect ally.”

Gradually, the situation degenerated. The young woman testifies to serious abuse. “He seemed like two different people, like a narcissistic pervert. He shows a certain side of him to the rest of the world, but behind it he was living a real nightmare.

Clara explains that her words revealed themselves gradually. “I was mainly confronted with his misogyny which was not immediately blatant, but insidious, he always tried to hide it with me. He called me 'doll' for example or globally reduced the woman to an object, as much in her actions as her words.

The young woman explains that Grégory* knows how to adapt well to the environment he frequents. "He comes across as 'woke' to gain people's trust and love, but behind it he disrespects women, including his mother." She adds: “He speaks to everyone, because he likes attention, he plays the feminist guy, relays the words of women, but behind, if he is a little drunk, he quickly becomes jealous, possessive and sometimes violent. .”

After leaving him, Clara presented him with a fait accompli. “He told me that he was sincerely sorry, and that he didn't realize. With hindsight he made believe that he had carried out his actions. Today, he continues to post feminist stories and collages.

(*Names have been changed)