Gentlemen, 5 things you probably do wrong in bed!

There must have been a moment in your life when you asked yourself: am I a good lover?

Let's stop deceiving ourselves.... Being an attentive partner will be an appreciable step in monitoring the relationship with your partner. Whether she's a "sex friend" or your future wife, she won't be able to resist evaluating your sexual performance...and that's normal! Needless to remind you that sex is one of the pillars of the couple.

Let's be clear, to be what we can vulgarly call a "good move": adapt to your partner.

The good news? Can I help you. My experience with women and discussions with them have allowed me to list the things NOT to do in bed rather than give you a magic formula that would be totally illusory.

Are you ready to change some of your habits and thus become one of her best lovers?

Mistake #1: Privileging Your Own Personal Pleasure

The most common mistake that we find on the lips of all women is... "He only thinks of himself". And yes, the mistake you were making was not taking care of her enough!

It's silly isn't it?

⇨ What you need to do:

It's very simple, take the time to make love to her. Think foreplay, don't go into jackhammer mode right off the bat. You think "pounding" is going to make you a sex god. It's wrong. Undress her, kiss her, caress her! And no, you don't just caress a woman between the legs.

Mistake #2: Focusing on your gender only

Focusing only on sex during foreplay is a new and very common mistake made by men. Tell yourself one thing, the erogenous zones of men and women are different. If for us the zones are located in one or two specific places for women it is different.

⇨ What you need to do:

Going straight to the point, you will be the cliché of the ordinary man who, like the others, will content himself with touching her sex and then penetrating her. What the classic thing. To stand out from the crowd, you will therefore have to do better....much better. The watchword: take the time.

Caress her, in the neck, on the buttocks, between the legs...

Here is a simple method to raise the temperature.

Start by caressing her on easily accessible erogenous zones (neck, buttocks...). Then increase the intensity: caress her most intimate parts (breasts, crotch...). Finally, gently caress her clitoris.

Mistake #3: Lacking personal hygiene

Many (too) men tend not to take care of themselves. This is however the basis, your credibility depends largely on the image you send back of yourself. Clean clothes, underpants and socks without holes! It may make some people laugh but believe me, many girls have made this comment to me: "A lot of men neglect their underwear and their hygiene at this level".

⇨ What you need to do:

Consider shaving (or mowing) your pubis! Yes, you don't like licking your girlfriend when she forgot to wax for a few days. It's mutual! If you want her to come down to give you pleasure more often, clear that up a bit!

Do not hesitate to buy new underwear frequently so that you never wear old ones.

Mistake #4: Establishing a routine

Monotony kills sex. Yes, some routines are beneficial for your life as a couple, but be careful not to always do the same thing in the same place and at the same time. Whether for one night or for life, the result is the same. The jackhammer for 3min23 before ejaculation has never pleased a woman!

Spread the word.

⇨ What you need to do:

Vary the rhythm and the positions (two or three will be enough to try new things). You will have more and longer fun!

The same for men who are in a relationship. Surprise your partner. Find unusual places, wake her up in the middle of the night by giving her cunnilingus, for example.

Mistake #5: Cumming too fast

We cannot hide it, it is the obsession of any man wishing to give pleasure to his partner.

What you need to do:

One thing is inescapable: women take longer than men to come. That's why you have to take the time during foreplay. If, however, you took the time and left too quickly. Do not panic. As a charismatic man that you are, you know how to bounce back. So don't lose face and continue to take care of her with your fingers, your tongue or even a sex toy...

I have just given you the most common mistakes when having sex with a woman. It's up to you whether you made these mistakes or not. If, however, you do not make any of these five mistakes and you still have difficulty giving pleasure to your partner, I will give you three secrets that will allow you to spice up your life as a couple.

You never manage to satisfy her?

Women find it easier to come when they are relaxed. Do not hesitate to create a soft and warm atmosphere so that she can let go completely. Avoid repeated conflicts and defuse them when they exist in order to establish an environment conducive to sex.

If you can't figure out what she wants or if you lack experience and confidence, ask her for guidance.

Ask him the question: would you like more caresses, fellatio, cunnilingus...?

Exchanges and discussion are the key to success.

How to vary the pleasures?

⇒ Change location.

You can very well consider making love on the stairs, in a car or even if you are a gamer... in a fitting room.

⇒ Play a role.

The time of a sexual relationship you will be another and she will be another. Create a scenario beforehand and set limits. The rules are clear from the start. Then give free rein to your imagination (nurse, plumber...)

⇒ Surprise her.

Make love to her in the middle of the night, or set your alarm clock a few minutes earlier in the morning to take care of her...

How to give him a good cunnilingus?

Start by brushing her clitoris with the tip of your tongue, alternating up and down and circular motion. When it is swollen, you will have to caress it a little more for her to feel the pleasure. Be careful not to crush it, it's painful!

Play with her pleasure, when you feel her rising, stop for a brief moment and start again. (Be careful not to do it too often it could fall to the level of excitement).

Turn around her clitoris without touching it, this will raise the temperature. Of course, you can then lick her when she is very excited.

Here, you have all the balls in hand to become a good lover. Do not hesitate to apply all the advice that I have just given you from your next report.

Sex is above all a moment of pleasure, so relax and take it as a game.

Have fun, treat yourself, give him pleasure. To do this, listen to him, see how his body reacts to your caresses. Listen to his body and its reactions. You will see that over time and reports you will learn to read her like an open book...to better share beautiful stories.

Thursday, January 30, on the occasion of the start of the Angoulême Comics Festival, the entire front page of HuffPost is illustrated by cartoonists. Click here to access it.

Alexander Roth

Author in personal development and image consultant for www.lifestyle-conseil.com